Urban Dictionary's post angers Kirkcaldy MSP

WHAT do the “inbred psychopaths” of Kirkcaldy make of Urban Dictionary?

The American website Urban Dictionary’s definition of Kirkcaldy was branded as “disgusting” last week by local MSPs, but is it accurate to an extent?

The website, which describes itself as “the dictionary you wrote” caused controversy when it characterised local Kirkcaldy people as “contorted and inbred psychopaths.”

The Links Market is one of the busiest times for the town

Perhaps a tad harsh.

Local MSP David Torrance certainly thinks so anyway. Despite the post clearly being a bit tongue-in-cheek...clearly...Torrance still finds the description highly offensive.

“I’m absolutely disgusted by the comments on this website,” he said. “At the end of the day, people reading that will have in their minds an impression of what this town is and I’m really annoyed by what’s on there.”

I thought he would be proud to represent such constituents who enjoy, as described on the website, “heroin, alcoholism, pregnancy, begging and aggressive homophobia and racism.”

Similar to Wikipedia, posts are submitted by the public and not the actual website. The post goes on to ingeniously insult the town.

“It is situated along the rusted trolley-ridden coastline of the county of Fife in the post-apocalyptic wasteland of Scotland.”

I’m sure everyone appreciates them sugar-coating it, as much as I do.

What do the local people think of it? Do they agree with the description on the website, or do they part on the side of the MSPs?

Town's local college

16-year-old Lauren Brown, a Kirkcaldy resident, thinks the post is true to an extent.

“Some of it is true, and let’s face it, pretty funny. The real problem with Fife is there are no jobs and the place looks dull. Someone needs to do something about it.”

When asked to describe the town in three words, she went with, “boring, dull and grey.” Slightly better than “contorted, inbred and psychopaths.”

Lauren Richardson, 19, who is a student in Kirkcaldy, chooses to see the humours side of the site’s post.

“I think it’ hilarious, I definitely agree with parts of it. Perhaps theses MSPs should take a walk around Kirkcaldy and actually see what it’s like.”

She said this whilst shooting up and sexting her cousin, coincidently.

Not everyone sees the funny side, though. Brian Jones, 37, thinks the exact opposite of the town. 

“Kirkcaldy is a peaceful town. It is also a very important part of Scotland’s history.”

Michelle McShane is also a student from Kirkcaldy, she agrees with Brian and that the town clearly isn’t as bad as made out.

“I think Kirkcaldy is a nice place to live, it has great shops and I love the beach. The post on Urban Dictionary was inaccurate and offensive."

Ravenscraig offers some stunning sights

Kirkcaldy does have some beautiful scenery and parks available for the town’s residents. I obviously don’t agree with the post, hence why I took a sarcastic tone whilst discussing it. Whatever you make of the post, I think it should be remembered that it is up there for a joke and exaggerates to make each description funnier. The humour was clearly lost on Mr Torrance.

5 highlights of Champions League

DESPITE being all but knocked-out of the Champions League on Tuesday, there have been numerous high points in our campaign.

When discussing Celtic in the Champions League, I always find myself coming back to ITV’s tweet, where they disrespectfully wrote off any chance of Celtic qualifying from their group.

We did qualify, with a record for a Scottish team 10 points. Throughout the course of the competition, we managed to get a very large monkey off our backs, restore a bit of pride to Scottish football after months of chaos ruining the reputation of our game, and we even managed to beat one of the best teams to ever grace the sport. Not bad, eh?

After Tuesday’s first leg 3-0 defeat to Juventus, I feel like I need a pick-me-up. So I have decided to look back on my five Champions League highlights from this year’s campaign. All Celtic related, of course. Enjoy this piece of nostalgia.

NUMBER 5: Samaras’ goal in the Camp Nou. 

After securing our first ever away win in the Champions League group stages (I will come back to this in more detail later), we traveled to Spain to face the best team in the world.

Confidence was high after the Spartak win and there was a real sense of optimism around Celtic. The dream turned to reality when an 18th minute header from Giorgios Samaras found the back of the net. It was one of the moments you will always remember and I’m sure this goal sparked jubilant celebrations all-round the country, and indeed, the world.

This goal gave Celtic something to defend, something to cling on to. It took a genius bit of attacking play to break down the Celtic defence, when after some slick passing, Iniesta scored on the stroke of half-time. Celtic defended brilliantly in the second half, but it wouldn't be enough to snatch a famous draw. In the 94 minute, Jordi Alba snuck round the back post unnoticed and tapped in the winner.

Despite the defeat, Samaras’ goal and some heroic defending gave Celtic fans real belief that we could compete at this level once again.  It’s not every season you get to say your team had the lead away to Barcelona. Samaras would go on to be our top scorer with three goals.
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NUMBER 4: Win at home to Spartak 

In our final game of the group stages, we welcomed Spartak Moskva to Celtic Park. In order to gain qualification to the round of 16, Celtic had to better Benfica’s result, they were away to Barcelona.

Going in to the game I thought all we had to do was win and that should be enough to qualify, as I expected Barcelona to beat Benfica. Gary Hooper’s 21^st minute strike settled a lot of nerves around Celtic Park, despite it still being goalless in the Camp Nou.

Those nerves swiftly returned after Ari scored with a clever chip over the onrushing Fraser Forster six minutes before the break. As thing stood, Celtic would not be qualifying as Benfica were still holding the group leaders to a 0-0 draw.

As we entered the final 10 minutes, there was now a feeling that Celtic would have to score in order to progress, as the Benfica game look destined to finish goalless. Then with nine minutes to go, a great touch on his chest from Samaras, allowed him to step past the Spartak defender Marek Suchy, who then fouled the Greek to give Celtic a penalty.  This was smashed down the middle from Kris Commons to send Celtic fans into hysterics. Spartak’s Kallstrom was then sent off to make Celtic’s task a bit more straight forward. We qualified and could look forward to playing the last 16 for the first time in five years.
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NUMBER 3: Spartak 2 Celtic 3

At last, finally, Celtic had won away from home in the Champions League!

19 times Celtic had traveled away from home in this competition and never won. Quite fitting that the timing of the winning goal was in injury time, the same way in which we had lost so many of our previous outings.

The game had started well with Gary Hooper giving us the lead in the 12 minute, converting Lustig’s cross with a brilliant touch to find the bottom corner. Then two goals either side of half-time from Emenike put Spartak in front.

Celtic responded well to going behind and the 63rd-minute dismissal of Juan Insaurralde, gave Celtic’s travelling support some belief. After a clever move from Celtic, Gary Hooper played the ball into the path of James Forrest, who seen his shot saved but then rebounded in by Dmitri Kombarov to restore parity. minute, a cross from Emilio Izaguirre was expertly headed into the far corner by Samaras to give Celtic a famous win.

Neil Lennon was full of praise at full-time: “I'm probably the proudest man in Europe tonight. I cannot speak highly enough of the players. They were magnificent at a very tough venue against an excellent side.”
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NUMBER 2 Display and atmosphere against Barcelona

I considered lumping this in with the actual result of beating Barcelona, but the atmosphere was so good I think it deserves a place on its own.

The day after Celtic celebrated their 125 anniversary, we welcomed the mighty Barcelona to Celtic Park. As far as birthday guests go, it doesn't get much bigger. It’s like inviting Rihanna to be a stripper at your 21, or getting Craig Whyte to come along to do stand-up, mass excitement.

Full credit must be given to the Green Brigade for the effort they went to, to put together such a breath-taking display. With Barcelona coming to town there was excitement in the air anyway, this was Celtic’s biggest game of the season. The best team in the world were coming to Glasgow. The excitement was only added to by the full-stadium display which would have been broadcasted around the world. The atmosphere throughout the game will be something I never forget. The feeling of jubilation taking a two-goal lead at home to the Catalan giants was brilliant. The night was always going to be special, the display, atmosphere and result meant the game will live long in ever Celtic fan’s memory.
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NUMBER 1: Beating Barcelona

I’m sure this is the choice that most Celtic fans would've picked as their single highlight of the Champions League this year.

I mentioned the atmosphere earlier, so I won’t go into too much detail about that again. We went into the game as underdogs. This was before the team picked by Lennon would include the omissions of our leading scorer, Gary Hooper, club captain Scott Brown, James Forrest and Emilio Izagurrie.

Even with a weakened team, we were ruthless and showed brilliant tenacity. Celtic, against all odds, took the lead in the 21st minute when Victor Wanyama powered over Marc Bartra to send a towering header past Victor Valdes in the Barcelona goal. After being part of the pre-match full stadium display, the Celtic fans raised the noise which would have intimidated even the most experienced players.

From that point on, it was attack after attack from the Catalan giants. But as Sky Sports pundit Gary Neville put it, “It was controlled defending by Celtic” Towards the end of the match, Barcelona turned to their bench and made three changes. Cue 60,000 gulps. Cesc Fabregas, David Villa and Gerard Pique all came on. But it was Celtic’s substitute, 18-year-old Tony Watt, who would make the headlines.

A long ball from Fraser Forster was mistimed by Xavi, and Watt ran through and finished like he had been doing it at this level for years. This sparked celebration in the stand like I have never seen before – sheer jubilation.

Despite a late goal from Lionel Messi, Celtic held on to the result that will live long in the memory. This was a brilliant night for Celtic and the whole of Scottish football.

This was not a difficult choice for my number one highlight.
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Hope you enjoyed reading my highlights, feel free to tweet me yours. @Kieran_Psyl

https://twitter.com/Kieran_Psyl

Money or belief?

Is Money or belief more important in today’s game?

As this is a blog with a Celtic-dominated readership, I am going to answer this question from their point of view.

What better example than the fact that Celtic managed to qualify for the last 16 of the Champions League, when numerous “bigger clubs” failed.

I cite the infamous ITV tweet, where moments after the draw for the group stages was made, they posted a tweet that diminished Celtic’s chances of qualifying before a ball had been kicked. How they would live to regret those words. 

Celtic qualified for the group stages along with fellow British clubs Manchester City, Manchester United, Chelsea and Arsenal.

Despite Manchester City getting a tough group which included Borussia Dortmund, Ajax and Real Madrid, you would have expected them, with their transfer budget allocation, to qualify.

What about Chelsea?

The current holders were given a slightly simpler group. They had to face Celtic’s last 16 opponents Juventus, Ukrainian champions Shakhtar Donetsk and relatively unheard of, Nordsjælland.

A challenging group, but Chelsea have been no strangers to splashing the cash over recent years, so you would also expect them to come through this group, as either group winners, or at the very least, runners up.

How about little old Celtic? There to make up the numbers, to boost the tarnished reputation of Scottish football, to give Celtic fans the opportunity enjoy a night out of the house.

This was, unfortunately, the patronising reality that Celtic were facing going into the group stages. ITV’s tweet confirmed this.

Throughout the competition, the reputation of Celtic grew. This was thanks to performances from players such as Fraser Forster and Victor Wanyama. Results such as winning 3-2 away in Russia and beating European giants Barcelona at Celtic Park, helped make people sit-up and realise we were not just here for a party.

There is another player I would like to single out for praise. Georgios Samaras, that is.

The Greek, who has been criticised in the past, was sensational in the group stages.

This season in Europe, Samaras managed five goals. Multi-million pound Manchester City players such as, Sergio Aguero, Mario Balotelli, Carloz Tevez and Edin Dzeko, all cost a combined £114m. How many goals did they ALL score in Europe this season? Four.  One goal fewer than our two million pound talisman.

The cost of transforming Manchester City from mid-table mediocrities to English Premier League champions was an eye-watering £930million. Yet they came bottom of their Champions League group.


Stats such as these make Neil Lennon and Celtic’s achievements all the more impressive.

What about the Champions League holders?

They too, like Manchester City were a mediocre club until Mr Abramovich came along and bought success.

Despite Abramovich seeming to have an unlimited wallet to dig into, a 3-0 rout by Juventus in Turin, in the end cost his side a place in the last 16. The starting 11 that night cost a staggering £266m. This is not including £50m substitute Fernando Torres.

The Celtic side that came second in their group is only worth around £15m at most.


Heroic performances from Fraser Forster, or as he is better known by the Spanish media, “La Gran Muralla (The Great Wall)” has seen him put into Roy Hodgson’s England squad, as well as earning world-wide praise. How much did Celtic spend on him? Was it anything like the ludicrous amounts spent by the eliminated English clubs? No, it wasn’t. After two loan spells, we only spent £2m for his services. What a bargain.

An even more impressive buy was the Kenyan power-house Victor Wanyama.

The 21-year-old midfielder has gone from an unheard of youngster, to one of Europe’s hottest properties, with the likes of Manchester United interested in his services.

Neil Lennon wants the bidding to begin at £25m, and who could blame him? Wanyama's excellent performances and outstanding potential were recognised in late 2012 when he was selected by influential football website IBWM in their list of the 100 most exciting players in world football for 2013.

It seems Celtic may struggle to keep Wanyama, but if he does go, it will be an impressive profit made, as he only cost £900,000.



These were two of the most impressive performers in the Champions League so far and they didn’t even cost £3m.

So, judging by Celtic’s European success this year, how important is money in football? It seems the willingness to win for each other and having the best supporters in the world behind them, means it matters very little.

How much further can Celtic go? I was extremely offended by Michel Platini’s comments, saying Celtic are as good as out. With the dedication shown in the group stages, there is no reason why we can’t progress and qualify. As we have shown, money is no factor.

Celtic draw Juventus in last 16

CELTIC have drawn Italian giants Juventus in the last 16 of the Champions League.

After the Scottish champions came through a tough group to finish second, they have drawn the side currently top of Serie A.

Prior to the draw, Celtic could have been matched with Schalke 04, Bayern Munich, Borussia Dortmund, Juventus, Manchester United, Malaga and PSG.

Juventus is one of the draws I would have liked to see us avoid, but after beating Barcelona, I guess anything is possible.

Juventus currently sit top of Seria A and have only lost one of their games on the road since May 2011. They also emerged unbeaten from Group E.

Revenge will certainly been on the minds of Johan Mjallby and Neil Lennon.

Chris Sutton scored twice in the 4-3 victory

Celtic made their debut in the Champions League group stages against Juventus in September 2001.

We lost 3-2, the match decided by a controversial penalty awarded to the Italian hosts when Joos Valgaeren was judged to have pulled down Nicola Amoruso. (It was extremely soft!) This was the start of a long run of unlucky defeats in the Champions League. 

Despite only being nine, this is one of the games I remember fondly, as it was so cruel for us to lose. We won the return game at Celtic Park 4-3, which will go down as one of the best European games

ever at Parkhead.

There has been mixed opinions on Twitter following the draw, some people unhappy with the fact Turin is not the nicest place to visit. We will also only be allocated 2,000 tickets for the tie. Though I’m sure thousands more will travel.

This is not the best draw we could have got, but it’s certainly not the worst, and if we can keep a clean sheet at Celtic Park, I can’t see any reason why we can’t progress.

We were written off before the group stages and look how that turned out.

Celtic, under Neil Lennon have adapted brilliantly to playing in Europe, especially on the counter attack. Juventus play a 3-5-2 formation which will lend itself well to the way we play. This leaves me optimistic.

Neil Lennon and co watch the draw 

"In terms of glamour, it's a beauty of a draw," stated Lennon. "Juventus are one of the great European teams, the Italian champions and it's great. It's going to be very tough for us, but we'll take it as it comes and I'm sure our supporters are looking forward to it.

The first leg in Glasgow will be played on Tuesday 12 February, with the return game on 6 March.

Juventus play in a new stadium in Turin - the Juventus Stadium - that replaced the Stadio delle Alpi and opened last summer.

Celtic qualify for last 16

NEIL Lennon in his first season as a Champions League manager has led Celtic to the knock-out stages of the competition.

ITV tweeted this moments after the draw for the group stages was made. They swiftly deleted it after being bombarded by tweets from angry Celtic fans demanding an explanation.

Neil Lennon also took to twitter to ask for an apology.

I’m sure most Celtic fans can now look back and laugh, knowing now they have proved their doubters wrong.

In a dramatic end to the group stages, Celtic’s fate wasn’t in their own hands after losing to Benfica on match day five. They faced Spartak Moscow at Celtic Park and Benfica had the challenge of trying to get an unlikely result at Barcelona.

What made the night more intriguing was the fact that Barcelona and Spartak both had nothing to play for.

Barcelona dropped several key players, including Lionel Messi. This gave Benfica a much greater chance of getting a result.

Lennon had to do without the influential Victor Wanyama, who was suspended, but was otherwise untroubled by issues of selection.

The atmosphere wasn’t as electric as usual at Parkhead, understandable giving what was at stake. Georgios Samaras played merely a hopeful ball forward, which Juan should easily have cut out. Instead, the Argentine woefully miscued his clearance straight to the feet of Gary Hooper and the striker lashed a low shot beyond Sergei Pesyakov to the sheer relief of the Celtic fans.

At this point it was still goalless in the game in Spain, which would see Celtic progress, at the expense of Benfica.

Such clinical finishing has been an admirable trait during Celtic's European run. Heading into this game, they had a higher percentage of Champions League goals from shots on target than both Real Madrid and Barcelona. Hooper simply endorsed that statistic.

Emmanuel Emenike who caused Celtic’s backline trouble all night, in particular Efe Ambrose, shrugged off the attentions of Beram Kayal before playing in Ari, who offered a deft chip over the onrushing Fraser Forster. Kelvin Wilson's despairing goalline header could only help the ball into the net.

 This silenced the Celtic crowd who were noticeably quiet and nervous.

Celtic came out in the second half with much more urgency than they had done in the first.

Only the post denied Georgios Samaras a goal that would’ve seen Celtic go back in front.

Then with only eight minutes remaining, a ball into the box was expertly controlled by Samaras who showed a good bit of skill and earned a penalty kick after he was fouled by Marek Suchy.

Lennon couldn’t watch, admittedly I also watched through my fingers. The second the ball hit the crossbar, my heart skipped a beat. Then it was complete jubilation as the ball crossed the line and hit the roof of the net.

All Celtic had to do now was see out the remaining minutes.

Commons then got an extremely nasty kick, which saw Kallstrom sent off.

Samaras and Mulgrew then kept the ball in the corner flag expertly until the 94^th minute when a counter attack from Spartak threatened to ruin the party. Celtic survived and saw out the game without conceding. As did Barcelona which meant Celtic had qualified.

Now the Celtic fans could celebrate and enjoy the night.

After wins against Spartak home and away, a stunning victory at home to Barcelona, and a point against Benfica on the opening night, Celtic qualified with 10 points, a record for a Scottish team.

My final word goes to the person behind the infamous ITV “bye bye” tweet. We will be sure to send Manchester City and Chelsea a postcard!

We’re having a party in the Champions League!

Why the poor atmosphere for Celtic domestically?

Why the poor atmosphere for Celtic domestically?

I, along with every other Celtic fan will remember the day we played Motherwell on the last day of the season and won 3-0. Despite losing the league, we celebrated like we had won it.

That game will live long in my memory. A packed Celtic Park sang for 90 minutes, took part in a full-stadium huddle, and this was after Rangers were 3-up after 15 minutes at Rugby Park, and won the league.

The roar after Neil Lennon declared “This isn't the end, this is just the beginning” made the hair on the back of my neck stand-up and there was a massive lump in my throat. What has happened to this kind of atmosphere and passion at Celtic Park, away from European nights?

Neil Lennon said he wanted to bring the thunder back to Celtic Park when he first arrived. He did this and then some.

In a season where sectarian bigots threatened the life of our manager and his family, the club united and stood right behind Lennon and the team.

After Mowbary’s tenure, the club needed a lift.

Even when it came to European nights (albeit Europa League) Celtic struggled to get 40,000.

Every single week when Lennon was first in charge, the atmosphere was electric. Didn’t matter if we were playing Rangers or anyone else in the league, Celtic Park would be full.

I do think the treatment of Lennon away from football played a part in this.This video sums up perfectly what I’m trying to say.

The SFA would be making "honest mistakes" against us every week and fans were being allowed to gain access to the dugout to attack Lennon.

Lennon reminded every single one of us what it was like to be a Celtic fan again. We lost that under Mowbary.

Lennon was a legend as a player and he was exactly what we needed.

Despite beating Barcelona and competing magnificently overall in the Champions League, when it comes to domestic form, the fans are just as a flat as the players. The Green Brigade try their best, but they alone can’t get the whole stadium going. Doesn't help when they aren't there, mind you.

It’s brilliant that our manager can now manage the club without fearing for his, and his family’s life. I do, however, feel this played a part in bringing the thunder back.

Money and no Rangers also play a part, but I won’t bore you by going into that.

If we do qualify for the last 16 of the Champions League, which I full believe we will do, I hope the players can gain some confidence and properly kick-off their league campaign. This would certainly go some way to bringing the punters back to Parkhead.

If you took the time to read this, thank you! I would appreciate your opinions on why you think the atmosphere is decreasing domestically and also what I could do to improve my blogging! Hail Hail. 

Does Scottish football need Rangers?

Does Scottish football need Rangers?

With Rangers plummeting to Scotland's lowest tier, is Scottish football coping?

Millions were spent on Flops

Well, for the purpose of this article (and a vague attempt to be balanced) I will refer to the recently deceased club as “Rangers”, as opposed to Newco, Sevco Franchise, the list could go on. See what I mean when I say vague?

 With the recent official liquidation of Rangers on Halloween, (fitting, I know) – how has Scottish football managed without the Glasgow giants, and how will it continue to?

 "We are Rangers, super Rangers, no one likes us, we don’t care”

A well-known line from a song often sang by the followers of Rangers. It seems they may have paid the price for this being  the case and not considered the possible ramifications.

When a Newco was turned down by a vast majority in the SPL, Rangers were demoted to the third division (or the new club was rejected entry to the top three flights.) Whatever way you choose to look at it, the “unthinkable” happened, the SPL would be facing a Rangers-less league for at least three seasons.

Cue the Armageddon.

Attendances would drop, Celtic wouldn’t be able to compete in Europe, there would be no competiveness in the league and Scottish football would effectively die.

Has this been the case?

First of all, attendances. There were cries that without Rangers in the league, there would be no competiveness and this would lead to poor attendances and lack of interest. I will start with Rangers’ main rivals Celtic.

Indeed, Celtic’s average attendance had dropped slightly from last year.

Celtic Park sees another small crowd

There are numerous factors to take into consideration when discussing Celtic’s attendances this year, compared to last.

I will start with money. If anyone hasn’t noticed, we are in the middle of a double-dip recession, with the possibility of a triple-dip, luring in the near future. Fans don’t have as much money as they previously did. Supporting your club is important, but surely putting food on your family’s table is more so.

When Celtic are playing the likes of Raith Rovers and Inverness on a Wednesday night, I cannot blame anyone for not paying the ludicrously high prices. No disrespect to Raith and Inverness, obviously.

Then there is the factor of Celtic’s European excursions. With four qualifying games, home and away, then six in the group stages – they are not cheap. They certainly are more expensive than playing Peterhead at home.

I will leave that at that.

Now to the clubs who are competing for that elusive second spot in Scotland’s top flight. Well, despite the economic crisis we are all embedded in, Hearts, Aberdeen, Hibernian and Dundee United have all see a rise in attendances, compared to this time last year. Aberdeen and Hearts both had sell-outs at their games against Celtic and St Mirren.

Competitiveness would also disappear if there was only one side of the Old Firm in the SPL. Has this, so far, been the case?

Here are the top five teams in the SPL and how many points they are on.

Celtic – 25

Hibs – 24

Aberdeen - 21

Motherwell – 20

St Johnstone - 20

Five points separate the top five teams after 14 games. It is early days, sure, but the league looks as competitive as it ever has, with anyone looking like they can grab second spot. Who knows, someone might even put a challenge in for the title.

With Celtic qualifying for the Champions League, beating Barcelona, winning their first ever away match in the competition and on the brink of qualification to the knock-out stages – I don’t think many fans would claim this to be an armageddon.  

There are of course down sides to a Rangers-less league.

Celtic playing Rangers was the biggest game of the footballing calendar around the world, it would be absurd to suggest this game isn’t missed.

The financial effect of no Rangers is still yet to be seen. I suggest some clubs will financially miss Rangers, even if they don’t just yet.

Sporting integrity has to be key. Despite Rangers’ massive plummet, which could only be matched by Felix Baumgartner – the league seems to be coping. Touch wood it continues to do so.